Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am naked and annoyed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
