Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
