Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
