I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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