Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
