Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
