I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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