Buhtt sex?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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