I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
