Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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