Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
