Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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