About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
