Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm passing your future prison.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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