i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
