He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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