Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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