did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
