Soap is not a condiment
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize