We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
