there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
