yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
