in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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