they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
