Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
