My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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