I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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