Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
