I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
