You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
