we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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