sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
