In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
