At least make sure they are 18
Why
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
