he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
