I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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