I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
