dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
