He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
