I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
