I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
