I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
