tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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