Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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