I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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