I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
