I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
