If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
