hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
