I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
