Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
