so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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