I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she peed on how many people?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
