first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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