What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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