Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
