his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
3 2 1 whiskey
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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