things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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