If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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