i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i dont even know how to be here
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize