I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
